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Theology Online |
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QUESTION: What does the Gospel say about "submitting" in an abusive relationship (emotionally, verbally or physically) Any time abuse of any kind is at hand, seek professional Christian counseling. There are two things to remember about 'submission' in Ephesians 5. First, that our submission to our spouse is a sub-submission: that is, our marital submission is a consequence of our submission to Christ and secondary to it. We are never called to submit to a spouse in a way that would mean non-submission to Christ. Another way to say that is that our spousal submission should never involve sin or participation with it. To submit to significant and ongoing abuse would be participating in our spouses sin (psychologists call it enabling or co-dependency). Second, submission is simply a form of love and should never contradict
it. To serve and love someone should be rather synonymous. As we've
seen in the sermon series, we often apply non-biblical, cultural
ideas to the word 'submission'. Submission in Ephesians is one special
way loving like Christ takes shape in marriage. And, how exactly
did Christ love or serve? By doing what was in the person's best
interest, not always by doing whatever they wanted, which was often
harmful to others and/or self-destructive. So sometimes Jesus put
people before Himself, by confronting or conflicting with them (as
He does with us all): for example, the women at the well, Peter,
and Simon the Pharisee. Standing by and letting someone's sin run
rampant is not loving them, nor is it serving them. Often, in a
twisted, unfortunate sort of way, it is serving ourselves. For instance,
in some cases it can be that a person is using the abuser's sin
as a way to assuage their own guilt (perhaps a sort of relational
martyrdom). Answered by Pastor Dave Desforge
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Grace Community Church • 495 Cardinal Road, Mills River, NC 28759 • graceccinfo@gmail.com 828 891-2006 or 828 684-0033, fax 828 891-3534 |
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